Medical Bureaucracy Navigator Gifts

I'm referring you to a specialist who knows how to deal with HMO's.

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'That's my 'job security' barometer.'

"Procurement and their stakeholder journey down the procurement pathway... Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

Hospital Departments

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

"Uh oh, here come more regulations."

"The bad news is that we've had to cut most of the services. . . The good news is that we can now tell people in 23 languages what we don't do anymore!"

In/Out.

"The thing about innovation, new ideas and change is that it needs to be carefully considered, vetted and fall within corporate governance before being implemented."

"Cardiac day patients?"

Medicare: More is Better!

'Federal Bureau of Technological Compliance - May I help you?'

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

Doctor sits near work boxes labelled; 'NHS' and 'Private'.

"Our first target is to work out what our target is."

"Instead of days, my pill organizer is divided into months."

'My ambition is to discover the Great American Loophole.'

"I'm sorry, but I don't make the rules around here. But I'd be happy to connect you with any number of people who think they do!"

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

"I am just going outside to find an NHS dentist and may be some time."

People being buried under enormous falling tax credit forms.

"It's funny how two intelligent people can have such opposite interpretations of the tax code!"

'We're to spend more time engaging with patients on a more compassionate 'human' level...and here are the guidelines on how to do it!'

'You have a good chance of recovery, if you can make it through hospital admissions.'

"No, this is the department for obfuscation, hindrance, confusion and prevarication...you want the department for sophistry, incomprehension, fudging and evasiveness!!"

"I just hope that when your mother is as old as I am you'll be able to help figure out Medicare Part D."

'I helped write the new tax code and even I don't understand it.'

"I have a brief statement, a clarification, and two denials."

"Recovery involves elements of faith. So let's pray my billing service, this hospital and your insurance provider all work smoothly together."

Council tax inspector notes dog kennel: 'Clearly, this property has its own entrance.'

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

'Yes, it is a stressful job.'