Medication Navigator Gifts

"The pharmacist is on the phone, trying to secure prior authorization. Do you want to wait?"

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

"Just think of this prescription as an app for your body...with side effects."

"FYI that the novocaine will numb the pain caused by the drill but won’t help with the pain caused by the overhead adult contemporary music."

Medicare: More is Better!

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

'The nicotine patch should get you off the nicotine gum.'

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

Doctor sits near work boxes labelled; 'NHS' and 'Private'.

"Instead of days, my pill organizer is divided into months."

"I am just going outside to find an NHS dentist and may be some time."

"Oh shut up."

'Mrs. Tomkins says her prescription has no side effects, so it can't be doing her any good.'

'You have a good chance of recovery, if you can make it through hospital admissions.'

"I just hope that when your mother is as old as I am you'll be able to help figure out Medicare Part D."

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

"I don't see the doctor anymore because I'd have to hire some kid to set up the patient portal."

"Recovery involves elements of faith. So let's pray my billing service, this hospital and your insurance provider all work smoothly together."

'I'm from the temp agency, who are you?'

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."

'You're meant to take off the old nicotine patches before putting on a new one!'

'When you put on a new nicotene patch you're supposed to take the old ones off!'

"I don't care what it says on the 'chocoholics' website I'm not able to prescribe chocolate mini eggs on the NHS."

'He can't refer you to me... I referred you to him.'

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

"You need to see a specialer. They're like specialists, but less so."

Pick a direction.

"You must cut down on your smoking."

"Your tests are back. We've ruled out anything covered by your HMO."

"This medication doesn't have any side effects, just up-and-down effects."