Medication Explorer Gifts

'Mrs. Tomkins says her prescription has no side effects, so it can't be doing her any good.'

'It's just a side effect of the anti-anxiety medication. Try not to worry your pretty little head about it.'

'Let me know how this stuff works - I've always been afraid to try it myself.'

"This one is over the counter. But, as yet, under the radar."

"The side effects feature some stunning special effects."

"Just think of this prescription as an app for your body...with side effects."

"This medication doesn't have any side effects, just up-and-down effects."

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

Emoticon Encouragement Therapy

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

Psychiatry. I got in touch with my inner child, and now I'm going broke buying video games!

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

Man in a tortoise shell visiting a psychiatrist.

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

'Look at the bright side -- having a business fail when you're thirty is great preparation for your Midlife Crisis.'

"How much is this going to cost me?"

"Apparently you're a bi-polar bear."

"You have to remember you're not responsible for other people's happiness."

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

"I know it seems cruel, but it's the only way for him to get rid of that silly technophobia."

"Too much caution can take all the fun out of life." "Mind if I get a second opinion?"

Frank & Ernest Nucri-Cops. Any luck cracking the conspiracy case? Not yet. There's no DNA evidence to implicate the guilty parties. We couldn't charge the neutron, so we had to let him go. The shyness gene won't talk, and the cholesterol molecule is sticking to his story. The vaccine molecule is our last hope -- he might agree to testify. But first he wants to talk about immunity.

Tell me about the voices in your head, Al. On the one hand, they tell me to do horrible things. On the other hand, they sing the sweetest harmonies since the Mills Brothers.

Flyingdoctor's receptionist.

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

"There's only so much bat-mansplaining a girl can take."

"Apparently, I'm fun, but I'm no fun in bed."

Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.

"I'd consider taking out this appendix you'renot using and greatly expanding your kidney area."

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

Medicare: More is Better!

'I suffer from depression too Ms Frost. Sometimes I'm not even motivated to get out of bed!'