Paying Medical Bills Gifts

"I forgot to tell the doctor that it also hurts when I do THIS."

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

'The doctor told me to avoid stress and then sends me a bill for $670.00.'

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

"I told you we were being stitched up. This consultant's bills are outrageous."

New You Plastic Surgery. That's right, doctor, I gave her the bill and her nose went right out of joint again.

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure you're single-handedly keeping the U.S. postal service in business."

'He's playing 'Doctor'.'

"Well, you helped me with my initial health issue, but now I've got headaches from dealing with billing and insurance!"

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

"Oh, the doctor does keep up. He gets accounting magazines on the latest billing methods."

"I have good news if you have insurance. Bad news, if you don't."

"It's elective surgery. Shouldn't I get a discount for the time you save not dealing with insurance forms?"

'Bypass? This is more like a bill for an overpass!'

"For healthy older patients like yourself who are running out of money, I prescribe red meat, fat, and booze."

'Tell me if this hurts.'

'Sweet! Money to pay my health insurance premium!'

A $50 co-pay? Well, go find someone named 'Co' and maybe they can pay you."

'A lot of this has been going around. It comes from wondering who's going to pay for health insurance.'

"Alrighty, let's work out that copay."

'Don't pay the doctor...'

'Before we start, let me tell you why I have to overcharge you.'

"Reimbursements are still shrinking - billing sent us the latest payment to read."

"He has sticker shock from his health care costs, doctor..."

"Ms. Mims will help you arrance financing."

'I'll need to run a few more tests. . . to cover my daughter's orthodontia.'

"Good news! Your health care provider has agreed to pay for that tongue depressor I used on you. However, you will have to pay for everything else."

"This is the patient, doctor..."

'Take two of these, stuff them waaaay up your nostrils and leave them there until you've paid your bill from three months ago.'

R. Wickert: Born at Home, Died at Home, Home Schooled. . .

'We've upgraded your position from critical to costly.'

'. . . And Keith magically had to go to the bathroom right when the bill arrives. . . why do I always have to pay the lion's share?'