Paying Medical Bills Mugs

"I forgot to tell the doctor that it also hurts when I do THIS."

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

'The doctor told me to avoid stress and then sends me a bill for $670.00.'

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

"I told you we were being stitched up. This consultant's bills are outrageous."

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure you're single-handedly keeping the U.S. postal service in business."

'He's playing 'Doctor'.'

"Well, you helped me with my initial health issue, but now I've got headaches from dealing with billing and insurance!"

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

"I have good news if you have insurance. Bad news, if you don't."

'Bypass? This is more like a bill for an overpass!'

"It's elective surgery. Shouldn't I get a discount for the time you save not dealing with insurance forms?"

"Oh, the doctor does keep up. He gets accounting magazines on the latest billing methods."

'Tell me if this hurts.'

"For healthy older patients like yourself who are running out of money, I prescribe red meat, fat, and booze."

'A lot of this has been going around. It comes from wondering who's going to pay for health insurance.'

'Don't pay the doctor...'

'Sweet! Money to pay my health insurance premium!'

"Ms. Mims will help you arrance financing."

"Alrighty, let's work out that copay."

"He has sticker shock from his health care costs, doctor..."

A $50 co-pay? Well, go find someone named 'Co' and maybe they can pay you."

'Before we start, let me tell you why I have to overcharge you.'

"Reimbursements are still shrinking - billing sent us the latest payment to read."

R. Wickert: Born at Home, Died at Home, Home Schooled. . .

"Good news! Your health care provider has agreed to pay for that tongue depressor I used on you. However, you will have to pay for everything else."

"This is the patient, doctor..."

'I'll need to run a few more tests. . . to cover my daughter's orthodontia.'

'We've upgraded your position from critical to costly.'

'. . . And Keith magically had to go to the bathroom right when the bill arrives. . . why do I always have to pay the lion's share?'

"No need to rush down - it's only the gas bill."