Dealing With A Medical Bill Mugs

'Tell me if this hurts.'

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

'Serves you right, just tearing open the charge card bill and reading it like that!!'

'The doctor told me to avoid stress and then sends me a bill for $670.00.'

"I told you we were being stitched up. This consultant's bills are outrageous."

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

'He's playing 'Doctor'.'

"You'll be out of here before you know it. Our auditor just went over your financial situation."

"Well, you helped me with my initial health issue, but now I've got headaches from dealing with billing and insurance!"

"It's elective surgery. Shouldn't I get a discount for the time you save not dealing with insurance forms?"

'Bypass? This is more like a bill for an overpass!'

"Oh, the doctor does keep up. He gets accounting magazines on the latest billing methods."

"I have good news if you have insurance. Bad news, if you don't."

'His insurance company said it does not cover self-inflicted accidents.'

"For healthy older patients like yourself who are running out of money, I prescribe red meat, fat, and booze."

A $50 co-pay? Well, go find someone named 'Co' and maybe they can pay you."

"He has sticker shock from his health care costs, doctor..."

'Don't pay the doctor...'

"Reimbursements are still shrinking - billing sent us the latest payment to read."

'Before we start, let me tell you why I have to overcharge you.'

"He gave me a complete checkup form head to wallet."

'A lot of this has been going around. It comes from wondering who's going to pay for health insurance.'

'Sweet! Money to pay my health insurance premium!'

"Ms. Mims will help you arrance financing."

"Alrighty, let's work out that copay."

"This is the patient, doctor..."

'When you have your health, you have everything except money to pay for healthcare.'

'Take two of these, stuff them waaaay up your nostrils and leave them there until you've paid your bill from three months ago.'

'I'll need to run a few more tests. . . to cover my daughter's orthodontia.'

"I forgot to tell the doctor that it also hurts when I do THIS."

"Good news! Your health care provider has agreed to pay for that tongue depressor I used on you. However, you will have to pay for everything else."

'We've upgraded your position from critical to costly.'

'Remove your clothes and your check book.'