Navigating Medical Expenses Mugs

Health Costs

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

Eye, ear, nose, throat and loans to pay the bills.

Doctor to man: 'You'll need to empty your pockets. For symbolic purposes, let's start with your wallet.'

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

"I told you we were being stitched up. This consultant's bills are outrageous."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"The doctor recommends payment in advance. A person in your condition doesn't need to be worried about bills."

'He's playing 'Doctor'.'

"I'm going to prescribe a generic placebo."

'Bypass? This is more like a bill for an overpass!'

'His insurance company said it does not cover self-inflicted accidents.'

'Tell me if this hurts.'

"For healthy older patients like yourself who are running out of money, I prescribe red meat, fat, and booze."

'Sweet! Money to pay my health insurance premium!'

"Alrighty, let's work out that copay."

'A lot of this has been going around. It comes from wondering who's going to pay for health insurance.'

"Ms. Mims will help you arrance financing."

'Don't pay the doctor...'

"I don't want treatment, just an insurance estimate."

"Doctor, could you prescribe something that will help me figure out my part D drug coverage?"

'I'll need to run a few more tests. . . to cover my daughter's orthodontia.'

"It says here you've got a high threshold of pain. I'm going to present you with your bill now."

'I got all woozy reading the restrictions in my health insurance contract!'

"I forgot to tell the doctor that it also hurts when I do THIS."

'I understand the fee for medications. But how come I was also billed for side effects.'

Martin Health M.D. - practice limited to six figure diseases.

"But I'm not well yet."

'You don't have to pay me yet.'

"You feel like a million bucks? Great! I'll tell our billing department"

'What kinda miracle drug costs only $6!'

'Wait!! I'm still trying to get health insurance!'