Bill Paying Gifts

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure you're single-handedly keeping the U.S. postal service in business."

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

I am billing, therefore I am.

Why you must go to work

"We calculated your age by how many hours you billed your clients, and you are at least 96."

'I do the work of three men...how about giving one of us a decent salary?'

'Accounting has suggested we standardize our billing procedure.'

"I charge by the grain."

Medical Billing & Coding

"The first bill is always a shock-everyone thinks Heaven will be free."

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

'The computer links me to other doctors, so I can see how much they're charging for tests.'

"The doctor recommends payment in advance. A person in your condition doesn't need to be worried about bills."

"That's guy's got 12 personalities...address his bill 'To Whom It May Concern.'"

"Recovery involves elements of faith. So let's pray my billing service, this hospital and your insurance provider all work smoothly together."

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

"Your bill has been doubled to include your own false pregnancy."

'Poor me. . . pour me a drink!'

"His ingrowing solicitor was playing up again."

"If your payment is in the post, please ignore this threat."

'No, it wasn't a horror movie, It was the gas bill'

Mystical Marty's only problem with paying the rent was keeping the quarters from sticking together.

'Remember to bill for the time it takes to bill for the time it takes to bill.'

"Skip parts A through H and fill out the I, O and U ones!"

Pavement Artist Takes Cards.

"I forgot to tell the doctor that it also hurts when I do THIS."

'Hope you don't mind...because it's the holiday season, I've written 'Happy New Year' where the amount should be.'

'After seeing the latest fuel bills your Dad's gone nuclear!'

R. Wickert: Born at Home, Died at Home, Home Schooled. . .

Caution! Peak power electric bill shock possible.

"Penny for your thoughts? I'm a solicitor, it'll cost you five hundred!"