Bill-paying Buff Gifts

Post Office. People seem to be reading a lot more these days --- I get a lot of letters that start out "In going over my books

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

'Tax.'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

I am billing, therefore I am.

"We calculated your age by how many hours you billed your clients, and you are at least 96."

"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"

"I charge by the grain."

My definition of 'quality time?'...charging $500 per hour.

'...And to spare my relatives the burden of inheritance taxes, I've decided not to give them anything.'

Medical Billing & Coding

Romney Tax Desk: Accounts Receivable...Accounts Believable.

'Dad's saying he controls my allowance because of something called the Commerce Clause.'

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

"I'm ready. Are you ready? Let the billing begin!"

'The computer links me to other doctors, so I can see how much they're charging for tests.'

IRS. Can I check off a dollar to be used against candidates for public office?

Dentist: We drill/Fill/Bill.

"He's had several billing procedures named after him."

"Remember the longer the jury stays out the more the more hours I have to bill."

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure you're single-handedly keeping the U.S. postal service in business."

"The doctor recommends payment in advance. A person in your condition doesn't need to be worried about bills."

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

"My accountant said it was a great write off."

'Here, check it by processing my bill.'

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

'Alf did you see they have frozen the sum you can leave before tax?'

'Are these billable hours?'

'It's not us! It's the government that's living way beyond OUR means!'

'I hope he doesn't bring in a belthole tax.'

Raising taxes on the rich...a little dab will do ya!!

'Did you remember to pay taxes on this?!'

Hello, Mr Babcock, this is 1983 calling.