Bill Management Buff Gifts

'Are you quite sure you paid the paper bill,Alec?'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"Can you give me a haircut that says, 'If you mess with my budget I'll rip out your soul, wring it like a dish towel, and drink it from a teacup'?"

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

"What comes after zillion?"

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

"Hired! You're just what we need in our budget office!"

'We've gone over your budget very carefully, Mr Thorne. Unfortunately the network does not sell 7-second spots.'

"The Treasury is fairly sure that the figures in the budget are correct, they might just not be in the right order!"

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

"So, the bills still aren't paid? You've never been good at money management."

"Does 14 followers on Twitter count as 'leadership experience'?"

I am billing, therefore I am.

'Our expenses have decreased 20 per cent since we started refilling our own ink jet cartridges.'

'Wait a minute....!

"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"

Financial Execution

Squeezing a tight budget...

'The Buck (after taxes) Stops Here.'

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

The Department Chairs react to the budget cuts.

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

"With the rises in fuel, food and mortgage I'm going to have to put in some overtime."

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

"I think it's time we cashed in our spare change. We could probably pay off our house."

-"Why bother to budget?" -"So we can worry BEFORE we spend our money as well as AFTER we spend our money."