Medical Expense Explorer Gifts

"It says here you've got a high threshold of pain. I'm going to present you with your bill now."

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

"Just think of this prescription as an app for your body...with side effects."

Bookkeeping Club

Medicare: More is Better!

'Mrs. Tomkins says her prescription has no side effects, so it can't be doing her any good.'

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

'There's only one side effect from this medication. It starts when you don't pay my bill!'

'Our financial adviser urges us to take a hiking vacation this summer.'

"Your tests are back. We've ruled out anything covered by your HMO."

"This medication doesn't have any side effects, just up-and-down effects."

"Nurse! Call the doctor, I've found out what is wrong with me."

"This is a bend and breakfast. You sleep on a cafeteria table."

'His insurance company said it does not cover self-inflicted accidents.'

'The wife and I are planning to look at pictures of Vegas online for our vacation this year. How about you and your family?'

"What else can I claim on my expense account?"

Beefsteak travel, hamburger budget.

'It didn't make sense until I conferred with your financial planner.'

'It's just a side effect of the anti-anxiety medication. Try not to worry your pretty little head about it.'

Wine Prices

'I hope you don't mind ordering the free bread and water. My expense account isn't what it used to be.'

"So tell me doc, what's new and exciting in pharmacology these days?".

"The side effects feature some stunning special effects."

"Alrighty, let's work out that copay."

Having to pay for health care up front.

'On his salary, Porter couldn't afford much of a vacation, so he's visiting exotic websites.'

"I hope you don't mind the medical student who's here to observe my billing procedure."

'I'll need to run a few more tests. . . to cover my daughter's orthodontia.'

'Finally have an expense account and I'm always on a diet.'

'Mister Rumley, have YOU been taking any of Major's atropine tablets?'

'What've you got for a headache?'

Martin Health M.D. - practice limited to six figure diseases.

I've done all I can do, so I'm referring you to a specialist in financial planning.

'I believe you did opt for our budget, no frills, no luggage booking.'