Medical Expense Examiner Gifts

Having to pay for health care up front.

'Well, well, well...'

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

Turkey Autopsy

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

"I suspect your headaches may be the result of you being exposed to someone with an undiagnosed case of cabin fever."

Medical Examinations.

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

'I see a beautiful young woman. You're naked, she's leaning over you. Oh, wait. She's performing your autopsy! '

Turkey Autopsy

"I see you naked. A beautiful young woman is leaning over you... Oh, hang on. She's performing your autopsy."

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

"Another clear case of COVID19."

"I pride myself on being able to walk that fine line between misdemeanor and felony."

'The fact that the expenses process is complicated confusing and bureaucratic isn't an Aberration.'

Bookkeeping Club

"Curiosity."

What goes up must come down, except for your cholesterol, apparently.

"Some people say you can't put a price on a wife's twenty-seven years of loyalty and devotion. They're wrong."

Cause of death: Just one of those things.

'I knew it! Important Exclusion 347, 'Plummeting Pachyderms'. . .'

Autopsy Room / a banana autopsy room.

'We can't determine if you're telling the truth, but you should have a doctor check your pressure.'

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

Playing doctor: 'This time I get to play the HMO bureaucrat who decides if you live or die.'

'Hello, Doc Barnes? I just got your bill. You've just bought yourself a cow.'

"I just love take-out."

" . . . the victim was slowly roasted until golden brown and then. . . Oh my gawd! Stuffed with bread and savory herbs and spices!"

Elvis' autopsy

'Cause of death is still unknown. We hope to learn more once he's dead'

"Well, certainly his claim seems justified , but if we paid off every justified claim what kind of insurance company would we be?"

"Doesn't seem to matter how carefully you put them back together you always end up with pieces left over!"