Expense Account Explorer Gifts

'Finally have an expense account and I'm always on a diet.'

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

"Your expense account ain't what it used to be. There's not enough money on your card to cover the $5.35."

"Expense account or regular?"

'What wine goes with enormous expense account?.'

"I've been working on the household budget."

'We replaced your expense account with this wonderful motivational poster.'

'I'm on the workaholic's diet. I only eat when I can put it on an expense account.'

'I barely have time to flaunt my expense account.'

'Hello, Doc Barnes? I just got your bill. You've just bought yourself a cow.'

"About your self employed expenses, do you do anything purely for pleasure?"

'I expect a little padding in the expense account, but yours is a kingsize mattress!'

'Our financial adviser urges us to take a hiking vacation this summer.'

"Unfortunately as the law stands at the moment 13 pints and a curry because you had a crap day isn't tax deductible!"

"Feng Shwoops!"

'We believe numbers don't lie, especially when interpreted advantageously.'

'How come you're questioning my petrol bill?'

Just remember, don't claim for lunch unless I was with you.

'This Investment Portfolio is an extravagant waste of money! Oh hold on... that's my expense account!'

'The wife and I are planning to look at pictures of Vegas online for our vacation this year. How about you and your family?'

"I hope you don't mind ordering the free bread and water. My expense account isn't what it used to be."

"This is a bend and breakfast. You sleep on a cafeteria table."

"What else can I claim on my expense account?"

'I want to give two weeks' notice that I'm quitting my job and two months' notice that I'm quitting my expense account.'

'The boys in accounting used to give me a hard time about ordering a $1,000 bottle of wine - until I invited them along.'

'My wife's a Keynesian - she's always spending herself out of depressions.'

'Give me the bill, it's a business expense.'

"Terrible. It's just terrible. He's the third accountant I've hired to calculate my per diem."

Beefsteak travel, hamburger budget.

Wine Prices

'I hope you don't mind ordering the free bread and water. My expense account isn't what it used to be.'

'Thank you for you car expense claim . . .why are you wearing bicycle clips?'

"Sorry, if you want a dial tone, there will be an extra charge on your phone bill"