Expense Account Strategist Gifts

"Expense account or regular?"

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

"Your expense account ain't what it used to be. There's not enough money on your card to cover the $5.35."

Investing your savings

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

"Good news. Your medical prognosis is right in sync with your retirement portfolio."

"The time has come for some tough cost-cutting decisions, and I'm forced to ask myself, do we really need a bass?"

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

Keep the econoimy moving

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

'What wine goes with enormous expense account?.'

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

First United Church of Outrageously Overlimited Credit Card Holders

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

'Are you good with decimals? Our certificate of deposit is currently paying 0.025%.'

'It may seem we're sinking deeper into debt, but really we're just experiencing a quarter of negative growth.'

'Sorry to trouble you , sir , but did you remember to sign my expenses ?'

'Damn! I was saving that for a rainy day!'

"With the rises in fuel, food and mortgage I'm going to have to put in some overtime."

"Let's just say the value of your account has gone from jumbo to fun size."

The Mattress Savings Bank