Expense Account Expert Gifts

'What wine goes with enormous expense account?.'

'The boys in accounting used to give me a hard time about ordering a $1,000 bottle of wine - until I invited them along.'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"Your expense account ain't what it used to be. There's not enough money on your card to cover the $5.35."

"Expense account or regular?"

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

'Take a letter,'

'Sorry to trouble you , sir , but did you remember to sign my expenses ?'

'I barely have time to flaunt my expense account.'

'I'm on the workaholic's diet. I only eat when I can put it on an expense account.'

"About your self employed expenses, do you do anything purely for pleasure?"

'I expect a little padding in the expense account, but yours is a kingsize mattress!'

'What wine goes with an enormous expense account?'

"Unfortunately as the law stands at the moment 13 pints and a curry because you had a crap day isn't tax deductible!"

'How come you're questioning my petrol bill?'

'I want to give two weeks' notice that I'm quitting my job and two months' notice that I'm quitting my expense account.'

"What else can I claim on my expense account?"

"I hope you don't mind ordering the free bread and water. My expense account isn't what it used to be."

"Son, can you spare a couple of minutes to talk about your tuition?"

'Give me the bill, it's a business expense.'

"Terrible. It's just terrible. He's the third accountant I've hired to calculate my per diem."

"Step in here Kimble, I'd like a word with you about your expense account."

'Now, don't worry about how you're going to pay my bill...let me worry about that.'

'I hope you don't mind ordering the free bread and water. My expense account isn't what it used to be.'

'This Investment Portfolio is an extravagant waste of money! Oh hold on... that's my expense account!'

'It was easy for me to lose weight! They took away my expense account!'

'Finally have an expense account and I'm always on a diet.'

'If people are supposed to live within their means, why are there such things as overdrafts?'

'Drink up, Wilkins, this meal is 'on the firm'...'

Mom's Diner: You Can Afford the Price of Our Gas

"So tell me, did you install gold, silver or platinum water pipes?"

Fees office!

'I'll call my sales manager and see if it's OK for you to have dessert.'