Expense Account Explorer Pillows

'Finally have an expense account and I'm always on a diet.'

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

"Your expense account ain't what it used to be. There's not enough money on your card to cover the $5.35."

"Expense account or regular?"

'What wine goes with enormous expense account?.'

Bookkeeping Club

"I've been working on the household budget."

'We replaced your expense account with this wonderful motivational poster.'

'I barely have time to flaunt my expense account.'

'I'm on the workaholic's diet. I only eat when I can put it on an expense account.'

'Hello, Doc Barnes? I just got your bill. You've just bought yourself a cow.'

'Our financial adviser urges us to take a hiking vacation this summer.'

"About your self employed expenses, do you do anything purely for pleasure?"

'I expect a little padding in the expense account, but yours is a kingsize mattress!'

"Unfortunately as the law stands at the moment 13 pints and a curry because you had a crap day isn't tax deductible!"

"Feng Shwoops!"

'We believe numbers don't lie, especially when interpreted advantageously.'

'Perkins, what about this trip on your expense account to 'Fantasy Island'?'

'How come you're questioning my petrol bill?'

Just remember, don't claim for lunch unless I was with you.

'This Investment Portfolio is an extravagant waste of money! Oh hold on... that's my expense account!'

I'm not worried about taking it with me .. I'd just like it to last until I go.

'I want to give two weeks' notice that I'm quitting my job and two months' notice that I'm quitting my expense account.'

'The boys in accounting used to give me a hard time about ordering a $1,000 bottle of wine - until I invited them along.'

"This is a bend and breakfast. You sleep on a cafeteria table."

"I hope you don't mind ordering the free bread and water. My expense account isn't what it used to be."

"What else can I claim on my expense account?"

'The wife and I are planning to look at pictures of Vegas online for our vacation this year. How about you and your family?'

'My wife's a Keynesian - she's always spending herself out of depressions.'

'Give me the bill, it's a business expense.'

Wine Prices

Beefsteak travel, hamburger budget.

"Terrible. It's just terrible. He's the third accountant I've hired to calculate my per diem."

'Thank you for you car expense claim . . .why are you wearing bicycle clips?'

'I hope you don't mind ordering the free bread and water. My expense account isn't what it used to be.'