Expense Explorer Pillows

"What else can I claim on my expense account?"

'I hope you don't mind ordering the free bread and water. My expense account isn't what it used to be.'

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'Take a letter,'

'Sorry to trouble you , sir , but did you remember to sign my expenses ?'

"I always knew I was cutting edge - I've gone cashless my entire life."

Euro Balloon: Please watch out for other currencies on your way down!

"I've been working on the household budget."

'Hello, Doc Barnes? I just got your bill. You've just bought yourself a cow.'

"I think the idea behind coin collecting is to get one of each kind, not all of the same kind!"

After income tax, pension and national insurance I end up owing £450.

'Our financial adviser urges us to take a hiking vacation this summer.'

"Unfortunately as the law stands at the moment 13 pints and a curry because you had a crap day isn't tax deductible!"

'What wine goes with an enormous expense account?'

"About your self employed expenses, do you do anything purely for pleasure?"

"Chris, find a safe and fast way into lucrative tax heavens!"

'How come you're questioning my petrol bill?'

Just remember, don't claim for lunch unless I was with you.

'This Investment Portfolio is an extravagant waste of money! Oh hold on... that's my expense account!'

Contact Tree-Huggers.com for info on tax-deductible charitable trusts.

"This is a bend and breakfast. You sleep on a cafeteria table."

"You can't hide from us!"

'The wife and I are planning to look at pictures of Vegas online for our vacation this year. How about you and your family?'

'My wife's a Keynesian - she's always spending herself out of depressions.'

Chines Dollar

Wine Prices

Beefsteak travel, hamburger budget.

"Plan B was to supplement my retirement income as a party clown, and that brings me to my loan application."

'Apples don't grow on trees you know.'

Confidential Loan Co.

'Thank you for you car expense claim . . .why are you wearing bicycle clips?'

'This Investment Portfolio is an extravagant waste of money! Oh hold on... that's my expense account!'