Expense Explorers Gifts

Bookkeeping Club

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

'Take a letter,'

'Sorry to trouble you , sir , but did you remember to sign my expenses ?'

'It wasn't until Picasso realzed he was earning $2,856 per hour that he began painting all night.'

'The good news is it's curable, the bad news is you can't afford it.'

'Fortunately our generation won't have to pay the huge debt. Our grandchildren will.'

'I invested in a completely new economic system for the country, but the instructions are in japanese.'

'Our financial adviser urges us to take a hiking vacation this summer.'

'What wine goes with an enormous expense account?'

The President Is Unhinged Yet We Aren't All Dead Yet and That's Kind of Amazing

"Unfortunately as the law stands at the moment 13 pints and a curry because you had a crap day isn't tax deductible!"

"About your self employed expenses, do you do anything purely for pleasure?"

'How about a romantic caper about two lost souls who meet and find happiness investing in mutual funds.'

'It's amazing how fast a business can go from being in the pink to in the red.'

'No, that's not the diameter of an electron. It's the rate I'm currently getting on my Treasury money fund.'

The 8.05 to Wall Street.

"The economy is slowing down, last night the tooth fairy left me an iou"

'How come you're questioning my petrol bill?'

Just remember, don't claim for lunch unless I was with you.

'Sometimes late at night I'm not sure the leading economic indicators know where they're going,'

Economic Experts

"It wasn't until I discovered how much the upper one per cent were losing on dividends that I became a truly compassionate conservative."

"What else can I claim on my expense account?"

'The wife and I are planning to look at pictures of Vegas online for our vacation this year. How about you and your family?'

"This is a bend and breakfast. You sleep on a cafeteria table."

'My wife's a Keynesian - she's always spending herself out of depressions.'

Wine Prices

Beefsteak travel, hamburger budget.