Expense Explorers Gifts

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

'Take a letter,'

'Sorry to trouble you , sir , but did you remember to sign my expenses ?'

'It wasn't until Picasso realzed he was earning $2,856 per hour that he began painting all night.'

'The good news is it's curable, the bad news is you can't afford it.'

'Fortunately our generation won't have to pay the huge debt. Our grandchildren will.'

'I invested in a completely new economic system for the country, but the instructions are in japanese.'

"About your self employed expenses, do you do anything purely for pleasure?"

'Our financial adviser urges us to take a hiking vacation this summer.'

'What wine goes with an enormous expense account?'

"Unfortunately as the law stands at the moment 13 pints and a curry because you had a crap day isn't tax deductible!"

'How about a romantic caper about two lost souls who meet and find happiness investing in mutual funds.'

'It's amazing how fast a business can go from being in the pink to in the red.'

'No, that's not the diameter of an electron. It's the rate I'm currently getting on my Treasury money fund.'

The 8.05 to Wall Street.

'How come you're questioning my petrol bill?'

"The economy is slowing down, last night the tooth fairy left me an iou"

Just remember, don't claim for lunch unless I was with you.

"It wasn't until I discovered how much the upper one per cent were losing on dividends that I became a truly compassionate conservative."

Economic Experts

'Sometimes late at night I'm not sure the leading economic indicators know where they're going,'

"This is a bend and breakfast. You sleep on a cafeteria table."

"What else can I claim on my expense account?"

'The wife and I are planning to look at pictures of Vegas online for our vacation this year. How about you and your family?'

'My wife's a Keynesian - she's always spending herself out of depressions.'

Beefsteak travel, hamburger budget.

Wine Prices

'Sorry kids, we've had to introduce no-frills parenting.'