Expense Enthusiast Gifts

"The rent's too high."

'It was easy for me to lose weight! They took away my expense account!'

'What wine goes with an enormous expense account?'

'This Investment Portfolio is an extravagant waste of money! Oh hold on... that's my expense account!'

'Drink up, Wilkins, this meal is 'on the firm'...'

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

'Just look at him- a fool and his money are soon partying!'

DIY marriage counseling.

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

Piggy Bank Coin I.V.

The spend is high

"Can you check inside it for me, Mister?"

'Whoever stole your credit card is spending a lot less with it than you did!'

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

"I don't mind out of control spending as long as it's on stuff I like."

'Take a letter,'

'Sorry to trouble you , sir , but did you remember to sign my expenses ?'

ABC. Uh-oh, here comes the penalty for early withdrawal.

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

Bookkeeping Club

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

"I'm not sure if that bill is correct or not, sir. We just throw a bunch of charges on there to see which ones stick."

'G-go ahead, F-Fred; p-pre-announce our disappointing 3rd quarter.'

'We'd like to default on the bill.'

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.