Medical Expenses Gifts

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

'You don't have to pay me yet.'

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

Eye, ear, nose, throat and loans to pay the bills.

"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"

Doctor to man: 'You'll need to empty your pockets. For symbolic purposes, let's start with your wallet.'

"I'm sorry, Mr Percival, but what you've got is not economically treatable."

"I told you we were being stitched up. This consultant's bills are outrageous."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

New You Plastic Surgery. That's right, doctor, I gave her the bill and her nose went right out of joint again.

'He's playing 'Doctor'.'

"Well, you helped me with my initial health issue, but now I've got headaches from dealing with billing and insurance!"

'Bypass? This is more like a bill for an overpass!'

Private prescription drugs

"I have good news if you have insurance. Bad news, if you don't."

"It's elective surgery. Shouldn't I get a discount for the time you save not dealing with insurance forms?"

'Tell me if this hurts.'

"I can't afford probiotics . . . How much amateurbiotics?"

"Move over! - I just got the bill!"

"Ms. Mims will help you arrance financing."

'A lot of this has been going around. It comes from wondering who's going to pay for health insurance.'

'If you want affordable healthcare, go to the government website. My speciality is still unaffordable care.'

A $50 co-pay? Well, go find someone named 'Co' and maybe they can pay you."

'Don't pay the doctor...'

'Before we start, let me tell you why I have to overcharge you.'

"Reimbursements are still shrinking - billing sent us the latest payment to read."

"I don't want treatment, just an insurance estimate."

Uninsured.

'I'll need to run a few more tests. . . to cover my daughter's orthodontia.'

"I forgot to tell the doctor that it also hurts when I do THIS."

"It says here you've got a high threshold of pain. I'm going to present you with your bill now."

"Remember, whatever doesn't kill you only makes your health insurance premiums go up."

"This is the patient, doctor..."

'Take two of these, stuff them waaaay up your nostrils and leave them there until you've paid your bill from three months ago.'