Medical Economics Gifts

'If you want affordable healthcare, go to the government website. My speciality is still unaffordable care.'

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

'Time for your pills.'

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

Doctors Discussion

"The real question is whether health care is a basic human right or a bona-fide commercial opportunity."

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"The x-rays came back, and — I'm sorry, but we found a very large attachment."

Infected Macron

'Good news, Mr. Blume! Your condition isn't serious - just expensive.'

"Your test results are back. We're going to have to remove your appendix and your wallet."

"Is this your bright idea, Janet?"

'I'm having my colon checked.'

Stethoscope line.

Pay Hospital Bill Here.

"Do you know that we saved a ton of money on legal fees by being more ethical?"

'You're going to have to give up painting ceilings, Michelangelo !'

Ethics (with an eye on the bottom line) committee.

Eye, ear, nose, throat and loans to pay the bills.

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

Stafford Hospital - Twinned with Hell.

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

'I decide reimbursement rates at the Healthcare Exchange of Oz!'

"I'm sorry, Doctor, when you said benign growth, I thought you were referring to my husband."

Privatisation of the NHS

NHS targets

"He detects disease."

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

Healthy Eating Casualties

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."