Naval Cuisine Gifts

"What do you fancy for breakie?"

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - Captain Spatula

COWMIKAZES

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

'Okay who swiped my bath toys?'

On board the MS Hepatology

'It was only a joke. I never thought they's accept me.'

"Is it fresh?"

'A boy! Standing on a burning deck! I bet nobody did a risk assessment?'

Horatio Nelson

John Bull Devouring the French Navy

Desert-Island Joke 2020: "Believe us, you're better off there."

'Snack Bar's Open.'

Veteran mistakes ironclad ship for Noah's Ark

That foggy, closed-in feeling will dissipate soon, giving you a clear view of what is ahead.

"I know your rations include two limes a day, but please don't do that with them."

USS Party Time.

'This Marine Cooking School taught me a great recipe, Mom... you take one-hundred pounds of potatoes...'

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."

Prison Ships

"#*@!% #*@!% #*@!%"

Whale lifts up submarine out of the water.

The 'British Tar' of the Future (The Future of the Navy)

Oh U! The German Periscoper: "Ach Himmel! Dot most be der peutiful Ben Nevis of vich ve 'ave 'eard so mooch!"

Admiral Nelson commanding a small car ferry

Elephant's submarine too small - 'The unit on this plan is metre not foot!'

'The first person to breath in gets no food for a week!'

Sailors on Shore Carousing - As it will be when the grog is stopped.

"I can see this prepared as quenelles de maquereau with a nice rémoulade and some herbed zucchini spirals."

"I think the lighthouse keeper is having a little fun with us, sir."

Australian Submarine Controversy