Naval Gifts

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

'It was only a joke. I never thought they's accept me.'

"#*@!% #*@!% #*@!%"

"I'm gonna see some big ships! Mom's going for some pre-naval care."

Servicemen.

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

Captain in a storm

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

Goldfish bowl on raft...

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.

"I got a swiss army hook!"

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

Lost around a military base.

Moustached gentleman

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Lighthouse Beam.

Pirate

'But you're an admiral. How can you feel seasick on a waterbed?'

'Hardy I see no chips!'

COWMIKAZES

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

"I find parrots have a tendency to fly away"

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

"Destroyers"

'A xebec and fluyt passed a heptad of shilpit grugrus.'

"Call me Ishmael."

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

Sub Editor