Naval Warfare Gifts

'FIRE A... warning shot across her bow.'

Oh U! The German Periscoper: "Ach Himmel! Dot most be der peutiful Ben Nevis of vich ve 'ave 'eard so mooch!"

Iron clad sailors

Iranian Warship Sinks in the Gulf of Oman

"F**k me! I didn’t know there was an app for that!"

Putin's Submarine

WW1 Secrets: Puffin Class.

A jogger being bombarded by tiny battleships in a pond.

Battle.

"Pirates?! Again?!! Somebody put my hat on and help me up!!"

Sailor notices a sea mine in his foot bath.

A U-Boat submarine emerging from sailor's nose.

Veteran mistakes ironclad ship for Noah's Ark

Naval Battle off Memphis, Leading to Capture of City

'Merely going to inquire about the Seizure of the British Steam-ship 'Bermuda' by the Yankee Frigate 'Mercedita''

Vulcan arming Neptune

Interior of the Turret of the Monitor Montauk- Rifled Shell Gun Left, Cannon Right

Battle of New Madrid - Union Mortar Rafts Firing at Island No. 10, Missouri

Union Gunboats Fitting out at Cincinnati for Service on Mississippi

"Says here the Navy's been patrolling the South China Sea...."

Trident fail

USS Arizona in the Pearl Harbor Attack

Servicemen.

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

Lost around a military base.

COWMIKAZES

'But you're an admiral. How can you feel seasick on a waterbed?'

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

'Hardy I see no chips!'

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."