Naval Chef Gifts

"What do you fancy for breakie?"

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

'But you're an admiral. How can you feel seasick on a waterbed?'

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - Captain Spatula

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

COWMIKAZES

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

AUKUS Deal Annoys France

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

"I am wearying of the crew's constant repetition of the same old sea shanties."

Scuba diver in a fishmongers

'Okay who swiped my bath toys?'

'It was only a joke. I never thought they's accept me.'

'Every war game scenario I've run has you picking up the check.'

On board the MS Hepatology

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

'So it's true that dolphins help navigate.'

'We're drifting apart.'

'A boy! Standing on a burning deck! I bet nobody did a risk assessment?'

Submarine Hunter.

Dog TagsPeople Tags.

F&E Submarine Contractors. When we ask the government for assistance, we should avoid calling it a "bailout."

Support the Troops

Great Moments in Culinary History.

Horatio Nelson

'It's great to get away from the rat race!'

John Bull Devouring the French Navy