Naval Chef T-Shirts

"What do you fancy for breakie?"

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - Captain Spatula

COWMIKAZES

'But you're an admiral. How can you feel seasick on a waterbed?'

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

AUKUS Deal Annoys France

"I am wearying of the crew's constant repetition of the same old sea shanties."

Scuba diver in a fishmongers

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

'Okay who swiped my bath toys?'

'It was only a joke. I never thought they's accept me.'

On board the MS Hepatology

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

'Every war game scenario I've run has you picking up the check.'

'A boy! Standing on a burning deck! I bet nobody did a risk assessment?'

'We're drifting apart.'

Submarine Hunter.

'So it's true that dolphins help navigate.'

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Great Moments in Culinary History.

Horatio Nelson

'It's great to get away from the rat race!'

John Bull Devouring the French Navy

"You can't have it both ways, kid."