Ship's Cook Gifts

Cook medal.

"What's for dinner cook?"

"A white whale took my leg, but I lost my eye to the ship's cook and a frozen fish finger!"

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

'Slip Ahoy!'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Kiss the Commander in Chef

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - Captain Spatula

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

What if Pirates Were Born With Their Wooden Leg?

Skyscraper Chef's Hat.

Scuba diver in a fishmongers

Christmas Canapes

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

Great Moments in Culinary History.

'Your tomato ketchup is on it's way, Sir...'

"Yes, Ma'am, our fish is flown in fresh every day!"

"I don't care what the owner's name is. It's bad luck."

When Gordon Ramsay gets re-incarnated as a fly.

"It's still stew but the celebrity chef wants to call it a deconstructed steak and ale pie with a dusting of salt in a brown sauce coulis."

'I tried, Larry, but I guess that whole 'watched pot never boils' stuff was just a lie! Larry?'

"I was in a different place then."

"Philippe, dice the potatoes."

'This Marine Cooking School taught me a great recipe, Mom... you take one-hundred pounds of potatoes...'

"Well, we went through the fruit and veg, and thought we should try something more exotic - like the space-time continuum."

'Help me get it into the tartar sauce.'

'It's bad news for the cabin boy.'

'I was a stowaway on his cargo ship, and the rest is history.'

'Putting up a deck chair is a real bugger at the best of times.'

Kirks & Tacos

'Getting above yourself for a short order cook, aren't you?'

'Great idea, Pete!'