Naval Traditions Gifts

"Look, salsa! This explains why the captain brought tortilla chips."

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

COWMIKAZES

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

'Forget whale song, I'm giving them some death metal.'

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

'Okay who swiped my bath toys?'

On board the MS Hepatology

'It was only a joke. I never thought they's accept me.'

As you like it - One way of catching fish

'A boy! Standing on a burning deck! I bet nobody did a risk assessment?'

Horatio Nelson

John Bull Devouring the French Navy

Veteran mistakes ironclad ship for Noah's Ark

"We're luckier than most people..."

Desert-Island Joke 2020: "Believe us, you're better off there."

Have a very piratical Birthday

"I don't care what the owner's name is. It's bad luck."

That foggy, closed-in feeling will dissipate soon, giving you a clear view of what is ahead.

"Well, he was a lousy captain, but he sure knows how to go out in style!"

"#*@!% #*@!% #*@!%"

"Arrr! This X marks the buried treature and this X marks a safe social distance!"

USS Party Time.

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."

Whale lifts up submarine out of the water.

The 'British Tar' of the Future (The Future of the Navy)

Boating Reflection

'After paying for the boat, it's insurance, the docking and gas, I couldn't afford a trailer.'

Drunk sailor anchored to a bar.

'We've lashed the first mate to the wheel, sir. I know it's not rough, he just likes it...'

Sailor with a wooden leg leaves his rowboat tied to a pier that is labeled with a disabled parking sign.

Oh U! The German Periscoper: "Ach Himmel! Dot most be der peutiful Ben Nevis of vich ve 'ave 'eard so mooch!"