Naval Life Gifts

Scrubbing the Decks

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Servicemen.

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

Lost around a military base.

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

'Hardy I see no chips!'

'But you're an admiral. How can you feel seasick on a waterbed?'

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

COWMIKAZES

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

"Destroyers"

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

'Silent type, eh?'

'Okay who swiped my bath toys?'

'It was only a joke. I never thought they's accept me.'

"Sir, our hood ornament is slowing us down."

On board the MS Hepatology

"You can let that go till later, Harris."

'A boy! Standing on a burning deck! I bet nobody did a risk assessment?'

Jolly Sailor - Warning: May contain old salts.

F&E Submarine Contractors. When we ask the government for assistance, we should avoid calling it a "bailout."

Celebrate National Submarine Day.

Admiral in the bath.

Battleship Bingo Night.

Victorian Royal Navy

"Looks like a storm ahead, Captain." "I think you're being over dramatic."

Horatio Nelson

'Kiss me Hardy.'