Navy Life Gifts

'Five pounds-fifty for a crew cut,that's good value...Right-o....come-on men!'

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Servicemen.

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

'Slip Ahoy!'

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

COWMIKAZES

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

The Camp, Pt. 1

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

'Okay who swiped my bath toys?'

"Sir, our hood ornament is slowing us down."

On board the MS Hepatology

'It was only a joke. I never thought they's accept me.'

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

'A boy! Standing on a burning deck! I bet nobody did a risk assessment?'

Victorian Royal Navy

Admiral in the bath.

'Well, we still think you're a naughty boy, running away to sea like that!'

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

Horatio Nelson

John Bull Devouring the French Navy

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'

"I'd like to report this stowaway I discovered two weeks ago, Captain."

'Oops! Butter-fingers.'

Desert-Island Joke 2020: "Believe us, you're better off there."

"We're luckier than most people..."

Veteran mistakes ironclad ship for Noah's Ark

'And this one is for going into an MRI machine -- alone.'

That foggy, closed-in feeling will dissipate soon, giving you a clear view of what is ahead.

"I know your rations include two limes a day, but please don't do that with them."