Navy Life Gifts

'Five pounds-fifty for a crew cut,that's good value...Right-o....come-on men!'

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Servicemen.

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

'Slip Ahoy!'

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

COWMIKAZES

The Camp, Pt. 1

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

'Okay who swiped my bath toys?'

On board the MS Hepatology

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

'It was only a joke. I never thought they's accept me.'

"Sir, our hood ornament is slowing us down."

'A boy! Standing on a burning deck! I bet nobody did a risk assessment?'

'Well, we still think you're a naughty boy, running away to sea like that!'

Admiral in the bath.

Dog TagsPeople Tags.

Victorian Royal Navy

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

Horatio Nelson

John Bull Devouring the French Navy

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'

'Honda has recalled the U.S. Sixth Fleet due to leaky sunroofs.'

"I'd like to report this stowaway I discovered two weeks ago, Captain."

Desert-Island Joke 2020: "Believe us, you're better off there."

Veteran mistakes ironclad ship for Noah's Ark

'Oops! Butter-fingers.'

"We're luckier than most people..."

'And this one is for going into an MRI machine -- alone.'

That foggy, closed-in feeling will dissipate soon, giving you a clear view of what is ahead.

"I know your rations include two limes a day, but please don't do that with them."