Naval Affairs Gifts

"I know your rations include two limes a day, but please don't do that with them."

Prison Ships

Acting SECNAV and bottom feeding slug T.B. Modly.

Remote control pirate bully

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Servicemen.

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

Billions for Terrorists, No Tribute to Americans

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

COWMIKAZES

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

"Destroyers"

'Okay who swiped my bath toys?'

"Sir, our hood ornament is slowing us down."

On board the MS Hepatology

'It was only a joke. I never thought they's accept me.'

'Don't just stand there, Mum - Your admiral has lost the soap!'

The Thing That Won't Leave

Ocean Liners will be Ocean Liners

'A boy! Standing on a burning deck! I bet nobody did a risk assessment?'

Admiral in the bath.

F&E Submarine Contractors. When we ask the government for assistance, we should avoid calling it a "bailout."

A grave with an anchor and periscope

Memo Mania

Horatio Nelson

'Kiss me Hardy.'

John Bull Devouring the French Navy

'Mr. President, we have evidence of al-Quaida activity in north Iraq...'

Iron clad sailors