Naval Affairs Pillows

"I know your rations include two limes a day, but please don't do that with them."

Acting SECNAV and bottom feeding slug T.B. Modly.

Remote control pirate bully

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Servicemen.

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

COWMIKAZES

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

"Destroyers"

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

'Okay who swiped my bath toys?'

"Sir, our hood ornament is slowing us down."

'It was only a joke. I never thought they's accept me.'

On board the MS Hepatology

'A boy! Standing on a burning deck! I bet nobody did a risk assessment?'

'Don't just stand there, Mum - Your admiral has lost the soap!'

A grave with an anchor and periscope

Admiral in the bath.

Ocean Liners will be Ocean Liners

Horatio Nelson

'Kiss me Hardy.'

John Bull Devouring the French Navy

'Mr. President, we have evidence of al-Quaida activity in north Iraq...'

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'

Iron clad sailors

Veteran mistakes ironclad ship for Noah's Ark