Naval Activities Pillows

“Why do you want to join the navy lad?”

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

'Just in case there is an accident.'

'But you're an admiral. How can you feel seasick on a waterbed?'

COWMIKAZES

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

Rats deserting a sinking ship

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

'Forget whale song, I'm giving them some death metal.'

'Okay who swiped my bath toys?'

On board the MS Hepatology

'It was only a joke. I never thought they's accept me.'

'A boy! Standing on a burning deck! I bet nobody did a risk assessment?'

"My new book will be an epic novel of the sea."

Coastguard

As you like it - One way of catching fish

Horatio Nelson

John Bull Devouring the French Navy

Iron clad sailors

"Rising sea levels."

Have a very piratical Birthday

"I don't care what the owner's name is. It's bad luck."

Desert-Island Joke 2020: "Believe us, you're better off there."

'This is your idea of converting your boat to a sailboat, a sheet? And while we're on the topic, is that one of my good sheets?'

Veteran mistakes ironclad ship for Noah's Ark

Sailor notices a sea mine in his foot bath.

That foggy, closed-in feeling will dissipate soon, giving you a clear view of what is ahead.

'FIRE A... warning shot across her bow.'

"I know your rations include two limes a day, but please don't do that with them."

'Nice this kite sailboat. But how do you actually land it?'

King Neptune getting an unwanted haircut from a Speedboat propeller

"These aren't barnacles. Someone stuck their gum down here."

"Well, he was a lousy captain, but he sure knows how to go out in style!"