Nautical Nonsense Lover Gifts

'Noah, we have more than two barnacles...'

'And the poop deck isn't what it sounds like!...We've got a jon boat for that!'

"...Nobody defies the orders of the toughest, nastiest seadogs on the high seas and lives to tell the tale..."

'What?! I barely touched him! He's pulling the old flopperoo!'

Whale with a fish eye.

'Well what do you know? There really is plenty of kitsch in the sea!'

Backwards Buccaneers

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

Pirate School: 'Today mateys we are going to study the three aarrrsss.'

"Ticket and passport, please."

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

"Port outbound, starboard home."

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

'I told you we should have unionized.'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

Guy on island sees giant ship in bottle.

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

"Oh. . . What shall we do with a sunken trailer?"

Have a very piratical Birthday

'This is a dolphin friendly boat.'

"Well, if you don’t want to discuss exposure, drowning or sharks, what do you want to talk about?"

"Well, he was a lousy captain, but he sure knows how to go out in style!"

"Damn it, doesn't anybody on this ship have depth perception?"

Sailor's pipe is a ship's funnel.

"Will thou not sayest 'Uncle'?"

BARBER