Nautical Nonsense Gifts

Pirate using wooden leg to go fishing

"Well, he was a lousy captain, but he sure knows how to go out in style!"

'Pass the ketch up dear.'

'Quick, Harriet, throw me Fluffy - You know how cats hate water!'

BARBER

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

Fishing from the Pier

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"Ticket and passport, please."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

Man painting MOM on boat

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Walking the Plank.

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'I told you that parrot didn't know how to navigate.'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

'We're drifting apart.'

'I told you we should have unionized.'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

The Nor'easter Bunny.

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

Fish near-death experiences.