Nautical Nonsense Appreciators Gifts

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

"Aye, 'tis the elusive Moby Dick!"

"Ticket and passport, please."

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

"Oh. . . What shall we do with a sunken trailer?"

"Damn it, doesn't anybody on this ship have depth perception?"

Sailor's pipe is a ship's funnel.

"Well, he was a lousy captain, but he sure knows how to go out in style!"

'And the poop deck isn't what it sounds like!...We've got a jon boat for that!'

The boat anchor which reaches the bottom of the world

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

"Will thou not sayest 'Uncle'?"

"You've taken some creative liberties, Noah."

'I just got back form a class reunion!'

'Oh no! Not 'Barnacle Bill the Sailor', again.'

'What?! I barely touched him! He's pulling the old flopperoo!'

'Well what do you know? There really is plenty of kitsch in the sea!'

BARBER

"Have you got an immoral compass? We're looking for a night of fun!"

'Pass the ketch up dear.'

The guardrail brings it up to code.

'Ok, that's fine! You have dibs on the big one. I prefer the skinnier ones anyway. They struggle more vigorously which, I think, enhances the taste.'

'Long periods of inactivity are not good for a pirate like you, Cap'n. You're taking root.'

Crab reads 'The Little Book of Clams.'