Nautical Nonsense Lovers Gifts

Captain, we installed speakers here in the restroom. There are voices in my head.

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

"Aye, 'tis the elusive Moby Dick!"

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"Ticket and passport, please."

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

'I told you we should have unionized.'

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

"Oh. . . What shall we do with a sunken trailer?"

"Damn it, doesn't anybody on this ship have depth perception?"

Sailor's pipe is a ship's funnel.

"Well, he was a lousy captain, but he sure knows how to go out in style!"

'Pass the ketch up dear.'

"Have you got an immoral compass? We're looking for a night of fun!"

"Will thou not sayest 'Uncle'?"

'Well what do you know? There really is plenty of kitsch in the sea!'

The boat anchor which reaches the bottom of the world

'Oh no! Not 'Barnacle Bill the Sailor', again.'

'What?! I barely touched him! He's pulling the old flopperoo!'

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

'And the poop deck isn't what it sounds like!...We've got a jon boat for that!'

"You've taken some creative liberties, Noah."

BARBER

'You see! I told you there was a school right beneath us!'

The guardrail brings it up to code.

'Petty Officer why does Jenkins keep shouting 'ice cream' from the lookout? Is he drunk? Put him on a charge when he comes down.'

'Long periods of inactivity are not good for a pirate like you, Cap'n. You're taking root.'