Nautical Nonsense Navigator Gifts

'Landline go!'

"Will thou not sayest 'Uncle'?"

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

Captain in a storm

"Mind the whale, dear."

'Are we there yet?'

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

Emergency Phone.

How can I enjoy that clean, fresh, salt air when I'm up to my neck in garbage?

Goldfish bowl on raft...

'Slip Ahoy!'

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'Listen Honey! Sounds like there might be a little white water close by!'

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

"Touché"

"We have a potentially serious problem accruing on the poop deck."

Ishmael's First Day on the Pequod was Full of Surprises: "A harpoon!? Don't you practice catch and release?"

Titanic: How's my steering.

Moustached gentleman

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

"You're on a low sodium diet so watch the salty talk."

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Saved...life is good!

Department of Nanotechnology

Dream On: Fish jumping into boat, whilst fisherman says 'Golly, guys! Can't you wait until I get my tackle box open?'

Island of Lost Guys.

A Couple in A Speedboat.

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

"As night falls, You return to claim what isn't yours. . . come at me, sea devil!!!"

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

"Now you're just being a jerk!"