Nautical Pun Lover Gifts

'The employment agency said you were looking for someone to do light housekeeping.'

How come Joe never takes his boat out? His wife never lets him get aweigh with anything.

'Which one do you want to read?'

'You see! I told you there was a school right beneath us!'

'Yes it can be tedious son. But the 'net pay's not too bad!'

"You were doing 10 knots over the limit."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

"Ticket and passport, please."

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

'It followed me home, can I keep it?'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

'I told you we should have unionized.'

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

Fisherman selling sardines in oil, haddock in oil, cod in oil etc..

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

"Let’s draw him closer to New Bedford — we’ll get cell service there and Instagram the heck out of this!"

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

'I think we should wake the Captain!'

'You give me goose bumps!'

"Oh. . . What shall we do with a sunken trailer?"

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

The static electric eel is very rare.

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'