Natural Product Explorer Gifts

'It appears to be a side effect of the herbal toothpaste you're using.'

Before/After

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'This flower won't let go of my nose.'

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

'Mom's Spa'

A Snowman checking out some products for blacken his teeth

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

Fall fashions

Attack of the 'health' foods

Cursing Scientist.

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

"I didn't know it was poison ivy. It didn't have any warning labels."

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

Garlic, the wonderful stinking rose.

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

"These hostas are out of control!"

Dating is so expensive...

'I'm calling maintenance to tell them about the leak in the ceiling. The acid rain is neutralizing our basic research.'

"Lay off the natural remedies. You're beginning to ferment."

Sir, we have plenty of fine herbal tea for you to sample...but you're drinking the potpourri.

"Ding dong bell, Pussy's into wellness."

"The pharmacist will be with you shortly to answer any questions that you have."

Kitchen Consultations

'Cool snack, Tommy! My folks are into health foods too!'

"Does she like to smell strange?"

Turn on the news. I will not comply. My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story. There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on Rocky Road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills. Who told you this? Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy.

'You don't need to worry Jean, he's a very simple cook.'

Alternative medicine

'Jake's Alternate Pharmacy.'

Anita Roddick

'Where is the 'it won't immediately kill you' aisle?'

'Doctor Yomp theorizes that there's a chemical cure for every ill'