Ingredient Explorer Gifts

'Seven dollars for dilauril thiodipropionate. I think I'll switch to potassium metabisulfite.'

'You don't need to worry Jean, he's a very simple cook.'

"There's nothing to eat!"

Kitchen Consultations

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Too much cilantro

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

Honest Vending

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

I love Cannelloni

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

How to correctly estimate cooking time

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"I'm unable to process this image."

Tzatzikicicle

"You're really not too extreme, huh?"

'Diet considerations.'

The Inexperienced Cook

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

"You arrived as bottom-feeders, but you shall leave as bottom-gourmands."

"Habanero ..."