Ingredient Investigator Gifts

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

'I just read the food label. That's why I decided to eat the package instead.'

Processed foods, unprocessed foods.

'Remember, the real lemon goes into the floor cleaner and the artificial lemon goes into the lemonade.'

'Now with 30% less crap you can't even pronounce!'

'What's in the packet?'

'Apparently some of the additives cause a nerve disorder, but some of the other additives cure it.'

The four stages of comprehensive food labelling

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

Lack of Nutrition Information

Wicked E number in an ingredients

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Honest Vending

"It says these chicken nuggets are from parts unknown."

Industrial Chemicals: Cake Mix, Soup, Juice Drinks.

What's In Food?

Fat Free/Gluten Free/Flavour Free

"There's always a catch. This one is very low in salt, but it contains some styrchnine."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

'Seven dollars for dilauril thiodiporpionate! I think I'll switch to Potassium metabisulfite.'

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

Why Chemists shouldn't take their work home "I can't believe it's not b-b-vegetable mono & dyglycerides!"

Best Before We Added All The Chemicals.

Rat Hair: Peanut Butter Ingredient.

'It concludes with 'Don't bother to ask. You'll never find out what some of these ingredients do.' '

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

"Would you care to see a list of food additives?"

'The first dozen ingredients in this cereal are various sugars.'

'Where is the 'it won't immediately kill you' aisle?'

"Do you remember when food had food in it?"

Secret Family Recipes