Ingredient Origin Detective Gifts

"Is the MSG local?"

Toadstools

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

All Natural Nothing

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

Honest Vending

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

'Diet considerations.'

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"

'Just between you and me, Mrs Frobish, how'd you like the lowdown on what's really in knockwurst?'

Rat Hair: Peanut Butter Ingredient.

"Into every shopping cart a little mysterious Mediterranean product must fall."

Secret Family Recipes

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

Processed foods, unprocessed foods.

'Now with 30% less crap you can't even pronounce!'

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

'We don't want your business; we just want the recipe.'

'You don't need to worry Jean, he's a very simple cook.'

Why Chemists shouldn't take their work home "I can't believe it's not b-b-vegetable mono & dyglycerides!"