Recipe Detectives Gifts

'We don't want your business; we just want the recipe.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Try to guess the continent dining...

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Honest Vending

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

GM Crops Genie.

A man with a sign that reads "Secret of my chili $1".

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

Turkey Autopsy

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

"Your chocolate biscuits and cakes are getting smaller - and where's your sweets aisle?"

Horse meat scandal.

'I've heard of cooking the books... but how did you rotisserie them and why?'

Paul Bocuse caricature

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

"'Tofu'? Qu'est-ce que c'est 'tofu'?"

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"