Recipe Detectives Pillows

'We don't want your business; we just want the recipe.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Try to guess the continent dining...

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Honest Vending

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

GM Crops Genie.

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

A man with a sign that reads "Secret of my chili $1".

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

Turkey Autopsy

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

"Your chocolate biscuits and cakes are getting smaller - and where's your sweets aisle?"

Horse meat scandal.

'I've heard of cooking the books... but how did you rotisserie them and why?'

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"

"'Tofu'? Qu'est-ce que c'est 'tofu'?"

'There's something wrong with the slow cooker. I check it every minute but nothing's cooking!'