Dessert Detectives Pillows

"Who could have imagined that such a wonderful recipe for brownies would be hidden away in the Dead Sea Scrolls?"

"My vegan desserts are all-natural, although I often suspect that they're artificially savored."

Diner.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

"Might I suggest something wicked for dessert?"

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

Pie Filling Reader

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

'I said, 'I'd like to see the chef!''

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

"Don't tell him anything."

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

"How 'local' is the fish?"

Missing Easter Egg

'Mine was stone cold.'

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."