Dessert Detectives T-Shirts

"Who could have imagined that such a wonderful recipe for brownies would be hidden away in the Dead Sea Scrolls?"

"My vegan desserts are all-natural, although I often suspect that they're artificially savored."

Diner.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Might I suggest something wicked for dessert?"

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

Pie Filling Reader

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

Missing Easter Egg

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

'I said, 'I'd like to see the chef!''

"Don't tell him anything."

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

"How 'local' is the fish?"

'It's the new iPed. It's a pedometer, a GPS, and it has apps that show you the nearest ice cream parlors and dessert shops.'

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."