Gourmet Detective T-Shirts

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

"'Tofu'? Qu'est-ce que c'est 'tofu'?"

'Food critics cannot determine what are crime scenes.'

'William and I dug up this little place just last week!'

"I'm frightened. The prices have been heavily redacted."

"Noooo, nothing I'd really call fresh. Freshish maybe."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

La Table

Try to guess the continent dining...

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"Is the MSG local?"

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"