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"Do you mind? I'm new here."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"You're the lid to my pot."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

La Table

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

French wine

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"