Gourmet Experience Seeker T-Shirts

'Welcome monsieur et madame, may I take your coats, gloves and savings?'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'A cheeky red?'

La Table

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

Holiday Supplies

I wish I'd had the review.

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

Man's cooking explodes.

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"